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Titties N Beer

Frank Zappa



It was the blackest night!
There was no moon in sight!
(you know the stars ain't shinin'
'cause the sky's too tight)
I heard the scary wind!
I seen some ugly trees!
There was a werewolf honkin',
'long the side of me!

I'm mean 'n I'm bad, (y'know I ain't no sissy)
Got a big titty girly by the name of 'Chrissie'
Talkin' about her 'n my bike 'n me
'n this ride up the mountain of mystery, (mystery)

(how 're you doin'?)

I noticed even the crickets
Acted weird up here
And so I figured I might
Just drink a little beer
I said, "gimme summa that what yer suckin' on"
But there was no reply
'cause she was gone!

"where's those titties I like so well,
'n' my god dam beer!"
Is what I started to yell, then I heard this noise
Like a crunchin' twig, 'n up jumped the devil!
(he's about this big!)

He had a red suit on
An' a widow's peak
An' then a pointed tail
'n like a sulphur reek,
Yes, it was him alright,
I swear I knowed it was!
He had some human flesh
Stuck underneath his claws
You know, it looked to me
Like it was titty skin!
I said, "you son of bitch!"
('cause I was mad at him!)
He just got out his floss
'n started cleanin' his fang
So I shot him with my shooter,
Said: bang! Bang! Bang!

Then the sucker just laughed 'n said: "put it away!
You know, I ate her all up oh what you
Gonna say?"
You ate my Chrissie?
"yeah! Titties 'n all!"
Well what about the beer then?
"now, were the cans this tall?"
Even her boots?
"would I lie to you?"
Shit, you musta been hungry!
"yeah, this is true."
Don't they pay you good for the
Stuff that you do?
"well, you know, I can't complain when the checks come through"
Well I want my Chrissie,
Oh yeah?
'n I want my beer
Hah!
So you just barf it back up!
Now, devil, do you hear?
Look,
"blow it out your ass, motorcycle man!
I mean, I am the devil, do you understand?
Just what will you give me for your
Titties and beer?
I suppose you noticed this little
Contract here"
Yer god dam right, you son of a whore!
Don't call me that!
That's about the only reason
I learned writin' for!
Gimme that paper! Bet yer horns I'll sign!
Because I need a beer, 'n it's titty
Squeezing' time!
"man, you can't fool me! You ain't that bad!
Oh yeah?
Why you shoulda seen some of the souls that I've had!
There was Milhous Nixon 'n Agnew too!
'n both of those suckers was worse 'n you!"
Let's make a deal if you think
That's true
I mean, you're supposed to be the devil so whatcha
Gonna do?
Heh?

Now hold on just a second
You wanna make a deal with me hah?
Yeah!
Well ah, I don't know man, you know
I just don't know about this
What?
See, cause I
Listen, you're are you losing your nerve?
No man, it ain't got nothin' to do with nerve
You're supposed to be the devil!
It's got to do
You're supposed to be bad!
It's got to do with style, fool!
I don't know if you've the right style to get into hell,
You know
Well, actually, to tell you tell you the honest to god
Truth,
I'm very short on style as a matter of fact
Yeah, I know that's what makes me wonder
But I have I, I think I have something that
You may be interested in
What is that?
You can have my soul
It's a mean little sucker
'bout a thousand years old
But once you gets it
You can't give it back
You gotta keep it forever
An' that's a natural fact!
Ooh wee!
Do you read me devil?
Oh yeah!
What? Am I supposed to be scared, man?
Oh yeah, reety, aw righty!
Oh yeah, that's real tough!
I bet you're real bad!
Listen fool, you've got to prove to me that you're rough
Enough to get into hell
That you've got the style enough to get into hell
So start talkin'
Alright, lemme tell ya somethin'
Alright!
I'll prove to you that I'm bad enough to go to hell
Yeah!
Because I have been through it!
Yeah!
I have seen it!
Yeah!
It has happened to me!
Yeah!
Remember, I was signed with warner brothers
For eight fuckin' years!
Tell me about it!
Now you're talkin' about something!
Now how bad is that?
That sounds good to me, motherfucker!
So move right along
Tell me what your interests are, you know
If we're gonna come to some kind of agreement,
I've got to know what you're all about, you know
'cause I don't know if you're the right type for the
For the place, you know
Look lemme tell you what my problem really is, you see
Ok
My problem is that I don't belong anywhere
Aha
You see I don't even belong where you are, you see
I hope not!
I, I'm a simple person, you know
I have very small desires in life
Titties 'n beer, you know
No! What?
Titties 'n beer!
No! No man, you're joking
Titties 'n beer, titties 'n beer, titties 'n beer
What? No! No please no! Not that! Oh no man, no!
Titties 'n beer, titties 'n beer, titties 'n beer
No! No! No! No! No! Not titties 'n beer!
Oh I can't stand titties 'n beer!
Titties 'n beer, titties 'n beer, titties 'n beer
(I'm in you! I'm in you!)
Oh no! No! No! Wait
Ah! Look at this! What am I gonna do with this thing?
Wait, wait, please no!
Hey! Look at this!

"no! Don't sign it! Give me time to think!
Hold on a second, boy, 'cause that's
Magic ink!"

Then the devil barfed
'n out jumped my girl
They heard the titties plop ploppin'
All around the world, she said:

"I got three beers 'n a fist full a downs,
An' I'm gonna get ripped, so fuck
You clowns!"

Then she gave us the finger!
(it was rigid 'n stiff)
That's when the devil, she farted
An' she went right over the cliff!
The devil was mad!
(I took off to my pad)
I swear I do declare!
How did she get back there?
I swear I do declare!
How did she get back there?
I swear I do declare!
How did she get back there?
I swear I do declare!
How did she get back there?

Alright!
 
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Willie The Pimp
Uncle Remus
Titties N Beer
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The Motel Room
The Motel Lobby
The London Cab Tape
The Living Garbage Truck
Tengo Na Minchia Tanta
Sofa No. 2
Sharleena
Scrutinizer Postlude
Rudy Wants To Buy Yez A Drink
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שירונט- אתר המוזיקה הגדול בישראל הכולל מילים לשירים בעברית, מילים לשירים באנגלית וקליפי יוטיוב. מאגר מילות שירים מסגנונות מוזיקליים שונים: מוזיקה מזרחית, מוסיקה ים תיכונית, רוק, פופ, היפ הופ, ג'אז, בלוז, שירה בציבור, ארץ ישראל הישנה והטובה, שירי חתונה, שירי אהבה, אקורדים לשירים לועזיים ועבריים. יכול כי בשוגג נפלו טעויות במילות השירים. האתר אינו נושא באחריות כי מילות השירים מדויקות, וככל שהנך מזה/ה טעות במילות מי מהשירים אנא דווחו לנו על כך ואנו נתקן את הטעות.